Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR TAMARA: The subject of thank-you notes is one of the most common complaints I receive from readers. Some people put off writing them because they have difficulty expressing themselves via the written word, don’t know what to say or are afraid they’ll say the wrong thing.

Some time ago, you printed a letter from a grandmother who said she was changing her will because neither her adult children nor her grandchildren ever wrote her